Honestly Cursed But Still Comfortable
by Sally Under the Stars
Summary: Punkcop AU Oneshot. Sarah has been staying with Beth since she pulled her away from the tracks at Huxley Station. Too scared to leave her on her own, she stays. In that stay they can feel an unbelievable attraction, one that they're both having a hard time dealing with. (Title is tentative.)


**AN: Right okay hello um for anyone who has me in their followed authors thing, I apologize if you're from the OUAT fandom. This is a oneshot for the Orphan Black fandom! Written for a wonderful person who I'm calling Superpuppy hehe. **

**Punkcop (Sarah Manning x Beth Childs) AU Oneshot. **

**Just letting you know this is obviously not canon and also is set in a verse where their lives aren't quite as chaotic. ((Sidenote: I listened to Boyce Avenue's cover of Teenage Dream and hot damn it helped me with this.))  
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**I apologize in advance for any mistakes, I haven't slept in 22 hours now. Enjoy!**

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><p>When Elizabeth Childs woke up this morning, she didn't know what to expect. Honestly, how <em>could <em>she know anymore? In a matter of months, she had been sucked into a whirlpool of chaos that she could, and most likely would, drown in. Swallowed up by the title put on her at her very moment of creation. The very moment, when she became a _test subject_. When she was merely a mixture of complicated formulas and DNA. It was a curse-

The curse of being something beginning with the very same letter.

**A clone. **

Beth knew one of them-

_One of her_, hated anything to do with that word. Rightfully so, perhaps, but that didn't change who they were. _What_ they were. They were rats. Stuck winding themselves around the mess of a maze their creators had put them in. Searching for answers, ones she was certain they may never obtain. The odds were against them and they would ne-

"Beth? Oi, _Beth_!"

It was as her train of thought came to a screeching halt by the sound of Sarah Manning's voice did she realize how hard she was gripping the back of the couch. She would never admit it, but Beth had a bad habit of thinking about all of this, their situation, and losing herself amongst the wreckage. Looking over her shoulder, the cop's face was cold, as usual.

"Christ…_what_?" This was her routine tone when it came to Sarah. Or at least, these past few weeks, it had become normal to snap… She… Sarah was _extending_ her welcome in this apartment, and Beth didn't-

She was cut off again by her clone's words.

"Shite, _sorry t'bother you_," The identical, the one who saved her life, threw her hands up in sarcasm. Like she was under arrest. Though with the detective's face being in such a _harsh_ expression, it could definitely come off as such. Sarah continued, "I was just makin' sure you weren't losin-" The Brit stopped mid-word, knowing her choice in vocabulary wasn't a smart one.

"Making sure I wasn't **losing it**? Yeah. Thanks, I got it Manning." Beth deadpanned, her brown hues glazing over with a sheet of ice. So the stare was impossibly more frigid than before.

"No- _shit_ I didn' mean it like that!" Sarah exclaimed, realizing her stupidity too late, as Beth had begun to walk to her bedroom. Much like Beth's cold stares, Sarah's stumbling over words had become routine the past few weeks. As she heard the familiar clink of the bedroom door's lock setting into place, she involuntarily ran a hand down her face. "Way t'go Manning. _Fuck._" These weeks- three now to be exact, had been more difficult than some of those she had spent on the streets. One would think they were only difficult due to the fact of her and Beth sharing this apartment…

Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple.

It was well over a month ago now, pushing two, Sarah had found herself unable to go back to Felix's, or back to Mrs. S. Not for that she had been abandoned or exiled from her family's homes… But because she had felt an inexplicable amount of _worry_ for someone. Not more so than she had ever felt with Kira. Perhaps the same amount… _but not in the same way_.

That night- That night she had returned to Toronto, that night that _forever_ changed her existence…  
>Was when she had started to feel that pang of anxiety deep in her chest for someone. That someone, was the woman she had saved. Who she had witnessed take off her shoes, place her bag with them, all on the edge of a track at Huxley Station. Never in her life had Sarah Manning ever seen someone so broken in her life, and they had only met eyes for a spilt second.<p>

In that split second Sarah made a decision she would never regret. From where the strength or agility came from, she would never know, but she had grabbed that woman. Saving her from death, saving her from the permanent solution she was determined to prove was to a temporary problem. So Sarah couldn't go back to Felix's, or to Mrs. S'.

She had saved Elizabeth Childs. She had saved her clone. She had saved…the woman she worried about endlessly now, and the woman who as of recently, had made her slip on her words.

Since that night, she had been staying at the apartment. Within the first weeks, she was introduced to the world of where they had come from, and who was involved. Sarah knew right off the bat that Beth needed help, and with plenty of…_assistance_ from Alison, they were able to figure out a plan. The first month went by in string of events between killings and more mysteries making themselves known. Their days were crazy, but somehow, Sarah sought a strange comfort knowing Beth was here. She could only hope back then, the cop felt the same way.

Coming to learn Beth in fact _did_ feel that way…came three weeks ago. As some things had quieted down here and there, and Sarah was able to somehow keep a watching eye on her housemate, a routine was sort of falling in to place. When they weren't stuck in an immediate threat against their lives, Sarah had found herself _enjoying_ waking up in the same place as the hard ass cop. Of course she had been sleeping on the couch and Beth in her bedroom, but the atmosphere it was… _nice_. Things seemed simple enough, Beth was always up first. Sarah would follow quickly behind, usually within the timeframe to jump in the shower after her identical, while there was steam still in bathroom. Then came the familiar smell of the coffee Beth _somehow_ knew she liked. It was probably the taste buds being similar, but even so, it was pretty damn great.

Soon they both had cups in their hands, and were moving in a synchronized motion, pulling their own food out of cabinets and the fridge. Neither really said a word unless it was necessary. It was always like that. But that one day- One day three weeks ago, it had all gone the same way, until they were both seated at the table…

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><p>Opposite each other they had sat. Same as always. Sarah had the newspaper clutched in her grasp, scanning over different articles, only for her eyes to fall on one she couldn't help but chuckle at. She didn't usually read the paper, but she wanted something to do rather than stare at her own reflection in the surface underneath. When she came upon this jumble of words, her heard shook, and the sound she made caught Beth's attention.<p>

"What did you find?" The detective asked her question, eyeing the other woman with a raised eyebrow. Still laughing a bit, Sarah sighed,

"Jus' this article," She set it down, and read the title, "'New Scientific Study Proves the Real Importance of Comfort and Honesty in a Relationship.'" Still shaking her head, Sarah was simply laughing at all her failed relationships. All the men who had hurt her, had mistreated her and taken her for a fool.

"Okay…" Beth started, not exactly understanding the cynical roots of Sarah's laughter. "How exactly is that supposed to be funny? I think they're right."

"I've never explained t'you just how many mistakes I've made in that area, have I?" She eyed her identical with a glint in her eyes. It was certain that the punk would never reveal anything like this to someone so openly. Even with Felix that was sometimes difficult for her. With Beth though…she could feel it, that damn connection that was making her want to open up and explain herself. At her inquiry, Beth simply waited, nodding for Sarah to continue. "Well, I never looked for either o'those things with anyone I was with… I was a fuckin' idiot with my decisions, Beth. I guess this article jus' kinda reminded me of that. I've never had an _ideal_ relationship with anyone, really." With one last chuckle, she shrugged, and when she looked up at the cop she could tell something was on her mind. As she went to open her mouth to say something, she was the one who was cut off for once,

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself." The atmosphere in the room changed as Beth was serious, probably more so than she intended to be. "Sarah you- you weren't exactly in good circumstances for most of your life… I don't think you should be that unforgiving with yourself." Honesty was easily recognized by Sarah, and she could feel the air growing thick with this connection again. "I'm not the best for relationships either, but I'm sure that if any of this shit ever settled-" Beth strongly believed it wouldn't, but that didn't matter now, "I'm sure you would find someone right this time."

Then there came a sentence, where unlike that split second decision she made at Huxley Station over a month ago, she wasn't sure if she would live to regret or not.

"Maybe I have found someone."

The identical sets of eyes stared at one another. It was what came next, as Sarah felt her throat closing around the shock in her words, that stunned them both.

"Yeah. Maybe you have..."

There was a few moments where time stood still as Beth uttered the words, where neither of the women was sure they could breathe.

It would be a lie if they said they felt nothing.

That they _didn't_ feel the incredible spark between them, one that they craved to feel _every second_ of _every day. _

But then Elizabeth stood up. The feeling gone, the spark diffused. She was scared, because she had never in her life felt that way about anyone…and she wasn't ready. She _couldn't_ be ready, and she-

_She never would be. _

_Sarah didn't deserve that. _

_She needed to cut the ties. _

_She had gone too far…_

That was when this horribly painful and wrong-feeling separation between them began.

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><p>It wasn't that Beth hated Sarah. It was the furthest opposite, and that was the problem. She couldn't do it. She was broken and she had even said it herself,<p>

Sarah deserved the **comfort**. Deserved the **honesty**.

Elizabeth Childs was being far from honest right now, and had been so for the past three weeks.

Constantly on edge about everything else in their chaotic lives was her way of distracting herself from the feelings pent up from that conversation they had had at that table. Needless to say, she hadn't eaten a meal there at all in this avoidance time. In those moments, like the one she had just had, she could _feel_ the thoughts of her past creeping up on her. Like the ones she had had before Huxley Station…before she had met Sarah.

No.

No, she couldn't do it again. Not when she had been working her ass off to get back on her feet. Beth wasn't going to let it go to waste, not now…

If she couldn't give Sarah that relationship, she at least wouldn't throw away the hard work her British identical had put in to help her out…

For now though, she still didn't know how to talk to Sarah without snapping. She never meant to- and she knew Sarah never meant to stumble like that, but this all seemed unavoidable now. Her stay was being worn out, and that was Beth's fault.

Not that Sarah knew that.

Standing by the table, her stomach filled with regret, she cursed to herself. Her accent thick with harsh words pouring from between her lips. "Why do I even bother?" Palms splayed on the counter, she sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair. Beth was in her room, and she was out here. Just like always now. They had gone from spending time together without meaning to, enjoying each other's company, to fighting, to staying away from one another.

Sarah had to make a decision. She knew she couldn't stay here much longer, it wasn't good for either of them. So she could try… try to get that connection back. The relationship aspect didn't matter she-

She just wanted Beth.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah spotted the very same thing that had started this train wreck. The newspaper. In the back of her mind, she had an idea. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn't…and if it didn't, then at least she would know, and she could move forward. A few strides towards it, and she yanked the stack of flimsy papers from their nesting spot. Her breaths rattled in her chest as she went to Beth's door. She tentatively raised a hand, knocking gently, and when she heard no answer… she sighed.

"Beth?" Sarah knew she was in there, but for safety's sake more than anything, she wanted to make sure. With a careful ear, she heard the shifting of feet on the floor. It didn't do a lot, but she at least knew Beth was there. Clearing her throat quickly, Sarah tried not to let her accent grow too thick.

The brown hues returned to the article she had been cursing for weeks.

"'New Scientific Study Proves the Real Importance of Comfort and Honesty in a Relationship…'" She started, already nervous Beth would tell her to leave. When nothing came from the other side of the door, she continued, "'After a scientist at our local university was talking to one of his children, he discovered that his son's relationships were affecting his mentality and overall happiness in life. Upon further discussions as a parent should have, he realized that every relationship his son was in, was uncomfortable for him in some way, and ended because of- _dishonesty_.'" There was a lump in her throat as she stopped, swearing she heard something.

That was when the door swung open.

There was something that sounded between a laugh and a sob, but Sarah was unable to register it. Because as soon as she went to speak, the wind of the door being pried open was accompanied by a warmth.

_The warmth of Beth's lips against her own. _

Initial shock wore off within milliseconds as her lids fluttered closed. The heat they bounced off one another was intense, and built up for so long Sarah didn't know how they were still standing. Her hands dropped the newspaper, the article now irrelevant. Soft fingertips found their way to hold Beth closer to her. Their forms meshed together. The kiss was gentle, but desperate, and as the seconds grew on, the pulled apart for only a second to breathe. Just a moment to evaluate what happened, only for them to dive in head first again. This time stronger, like they were reforming the bond they had broken, and forming a new one all at the same time.

Sarah could feel her need to take over kicking in, so for the next several minutes they spent locked together, she made sure Beth felt more loved than she _ever_ had before.

When they both finally couldn't go without air any longer, they broke apart, but kept their faces only inches away from one another.

"Beth I- I didn' mean wha' I said before I wasn'-" Sarah was attempting to give as best of a heartfelt apology as she could, but quickly she stopped, realizing Beth was…

Was she _laughing_?

"Um, did I miss somethin'?" She stared at the beautifully unique woman in front of her.

"You're such a dipshit, you know that? You-" She chuckled happily, "You sounded like Cosima reading to me." Sarah tried to hold back her own giggling, in an attempt to make a statement.

"Well 'm sorry for tryin' t'be _romantic_. Not exactly easy t'do with a shite science article."

"I guess not, but you still sounded like her." Sarah hummed with mock agreement, and shook her head. They stared into each other's eye as their laughter died down, and they stood, arms wrapped around one another. The Brit brought up one of her hands to the other's cheek, and brushed it lightly with her thumb, cupping it.

"I'm sorry 'bout earlier y'know… I wasn' thinking. 'm sorry Beth-" Just as before, she was silenced with a kiss.

"Sarah, _shut it_. You're turning into Cosima."

"I migh' need a bit o'help keepin' my mouth closed, yeah?"

With a shake of her head, Beth laughed again, and dragged the Brit into her bedroom.

Their lives may be cursed, and they always had been.

By some stroke of luck, they had met, and though it was under unusual circumstances, they saved each other.

Despite being the same, they were inexplicably different.

Different lives and upbringings brought them to varying decisions.

But they had agreements now.

Sarah would always provide comfort, when it was needed-

And Beth, she would be honest, and not hide away like she once had.

It was nice to know that there was at least _one_ scientific study in their lives that had been beneficial.


End file.
